


mama, i'm in love with a criminal

by Tetramorph



Series: if these walls could talk [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BDSM, Biting, Blood, Blood Kink, Bruises, Canon-Typical Violence, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dom Sebastian Morgenstern, Dom/sub, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Episode: s02e18 Awake Arise Or Be Forever Fallen, Established Relationship, Healthy Relationships Are Overrated, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kissing, M/M, Masochism, Obsession, Painplay, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rough Sex, Sadism, Sub Jace Wayland, Submission, Subspace, Triggers, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 06:29:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20502416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tetramorph/pseuds/Tetramorph
Summary: Love isn't rational.





	mama, i'm in love with a criminal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bonibaru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonibaru/gifts).
  * Inspired by [ready or not [fanvid]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12979413) by [bonibaru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonibaru/pseuds/bonibaru). 

> I. Haven't actually seen most of Shadowhunters. This is some weird nebulous AU that contains some book canon, I guess (which I haven't read!) where Jace and Sebastian share some sort of magical link/bond.
> 
> So. Jace and Clary aren't together (I don't like infidelity), Jace knows who Sebastian really is but isn't telling anyone (even though this takes place in 2x18 and Max is on the verge of death, as far as Jace knows) because Sebastian has managed to make Jace dependent on him and unwilling to give him up.
> 
> This fic was inspired by a vid by bonibaru. I hope you don't mind me gifting this to you and writing the fic based on your vid. (It's been two days and I'm still not okay.)

When Sebastian makes his move, steps lightly around the corner with a smirk on his lips and the hilts of his seraph blades in his hands, Jace doesn’t draw his blade.

Instead, he steps back, backing up so he’s behind the statue, so he can be sure to stay out of Sebastian’s way.

Sebastian is a creature of glorious violence, barely leashed, swords flashing like fangs as he tears his way through the guards.

Jace doesn’t lift a single finger to help them.

Not even when one of them throws down his weapon with a wild look in Jace’s direction.

“Hello, darling,” Sebastian practically purrs, dropping his swords carelessly on the floor and backing Jace up against the wall.

Jace goes willingly.

Sebastian rests a possessive hand on Jace’s face, biting at Jace’s mouth as he shoves his knee in between Jace’s thighs. Jace arches up into him with an eager moan, letting his legs part as Sebastian undoes his belt buckle and unzips his jeans.

He’s already half-hard, and it’s only partly because of Sebastian’s hands on him.

Jace’s lips sting from Sebastian’s teeth when Sebastian pulls away to slide two of his fingers into Jace’s mouth, pressing down on his tongue as he grinds his thigh against Jace’s erection.

Jace’s eyes roll back in his head as he bucks up against the pressure on his cock, moaning around Sebastian’s fingers in his mouth as his eyelids flutter.

When Sebastian pulls his fingers away — as wet as Jace can get them — Jace twists around without waiting for Sebastian to say anything, bracing against the wall and shoving down his jeans and underwear with his other hand.

“So eager,” Sebastian laughs in his ear, spit-wet fingers probing Jace’s hole. He slides them both in without waiting for an answer, nipping Jace’s earlobe.

The sound that leaves Jace’s mouth as he jerks back against Sebastian’s body makes his own cock jump, a choked groan of pleasure-pain as Sebastian scissors his fingers, getting Jace opened up just enough to take his cock.

Sebastian pulls his fingers out of Jace and Jace can hear the sound of him spitting into his palm before he feels Sebastian taking a grip on his own cock and stroking, getting himself wet.

Jace’s skin in tingling with anticipation as Sebastian presses the blunt head of his cock against Jace’s hole, rocking forward a little to make the rim give against the pressure.

“Sebastian,” Jace pants, arousal coiled low in his belly and cock already leaking, when Sebastian doesn’t do anything else.

“If you want it,” Sebastian says, breath puffing hot against Jace’s ear, “take it.”

Jace arches back, breath stuttering at the feel of Sebastian’s cock breaching him, the thick head dragging against his walls as he opens himself up around Sebastian’s cock.

He doesn’t even make it halfway through riding back on Sebastian’s cock before the man has put his hands on Jace’s hips and thrust forward, settling into Jace’s body with a sharp flare of pain that makes them both moan.

Jace grinds back against Sebastian, clenching down on the thick cock inside him, moaning at the barely wet drag of it.

“I told you to take it,” Sebastian says.

Jace grits his teeth and rolls his hips, trapped between Sebastian’s body and the wall, barely managing an inch before he has to grind back again.

He can’t help his mounting frustration as Sebastian keeps him there, hips jerking as he tries to fuck himself on Sebastian’s cock but _ can’t. _

He shoves back against Sebastian with a frustrated moan.

“Not enough, darling?” Sebastian asks, the bastard, sounding amused.

“I’m going to be leaving soon,” Sebastian notes, and the thought sends a chill through him. “Don’t you want to make the most of our time together?”

Yes.

No.

“Sebastian–” Jace starts, because he doesn’t know what game Sebastian is playing this time but he knows he doesn’t like it, but Sebastian cuts him off.

“We’ve got time, Jace, and this is your last chance to make it _ last,” _ Sebastian tells him. “If you don’t want to take it, just say so.”

Jace stays still for a moment, panting, before he rolls his hips again, biting his lip as the frustration adds a sharp edge to his pleasure.

Sebastian is right. This is what Jace needs right now.

"That's it," Sebastian hisses, fingers digging into Jace’s hips hard enough to draw blood, the sharp sting driving Jace’s pleasure higher. "No one gives you what you need like I do. Not even your precious parabatai, even though he claims he _ loved _ you."

Jace's forehead falls forward to hit the rough concrete and a desperate, strangled noise leaves his lips. He feels his cock _ jerk _ at the words even though neither of them are touching it.

Raziel, he doesn’t know if he’s ever hated anyone the way he hates Sebastian. Love and hate tangled so tightly together that there isn’t a difference. Not even Valentine makes him feel like this.

"That's it," Sebastian repeats, feeling Jace's muscles trembling where his lips are brushing against skin.

"Everyone else picks someone else over you, Jace. Even Father decided you weren't worth it in the end," Sebastian tells him, hands brutal on Jace's hips and not letting him move, and the next time Jace rolls his hips back against Sebastian, the man meets his thrust.

"N-no," Jace stutters, struggling again, weakly, but for real this time. It’s true and it _ hurts, _ he _ doesn’t want to hear this— _ "No, _ no–" _

"Shhh," Sebastian croons, right in Jace’s ear, sending shivers down his spine. He rocks his hips slowly, causing Jace to sob and scrabble his fingers desperately at the wall. His cock is wet and leaking, each bruising thrust of Sebastian’s cock making his mind go blank in a way that makes him want to go limp in Sebastian’s grip and let the man do whatever he wants to him as Sebastian _ finally _ fucks him_. _ "Say that again and I'll _ stop." _

Jace's bites through his lip. Blood bursts in his mouth and down his chin, the pain making his vision go startlingly and gloriously white, pleasure so intense it tingles in his fingertips where they’re dug into the rough concrete. His reaction makes Sebastian laugh delightedly.

Jace meets every thrust eagerly, blood dripping down his chin as he moans, breathless, bruises blooming in the shape of Sebastian’s hands on his hips under his punishing grip.

"Beg me," Sebastian orders, without qualifying it.

"Please," Jace gasps out, immediately. "Sebastian, _ please." _

A sick thrill goes through Jace. He could be begging for death, for all he knows. He knows he should care, considering it's an actual possibility. That this might be it, that Sebastian might be _ done _with him after this.

He doesn't want that. He never wants Sebastian to decide they're done, wants those fingers digging into old wounds and clawing new ones into his skin for however long the rest of his life is.

Wants someone — Sebastian — to look at those parts of him that Valentine twisted and broke and convince him they don't make him a monster.

Sebastian can be monster enough for the both of them. Jace can finally _ let go. _

"Please," he moans, beyond the order now, begging for _ more. _He’d honestly rather Sebastian kill him than leave him for good. And he doesn’t know how to risk saying it, too afraid that it’ll be the truth and Sebastian will give him what he asks for. He braces his palms against the wall and rocks back to meet Sebastian's next thrust, legs almost buckling as he clenches down around Sebastian’s cock, riding out the wave of pleasure it causes.

"Oh, if my dear sister could only see you now," Sebastian says, taunting, "begging for my cock and wishing it hurt more."

Fuck, he _ does. _ Other than the sting of his lip and the promise of _ hurting _ tomorrow from the strength of Sebastian’s thrusts, the sex is almost gentle.

He tries to say something but Sebastian shoves his face into the wall with a hand on the back of his head, cheek and abused lip scraping against the concrete. Jace chokes on his words, because _ finally. _

"Maybe they'll find you surrounded by all these bodies with my come dripping down your thighs and draw a conclusion you don't want," Sebastian offers conversationally. "How do you think you'd like being called a traitor again?"

_ "No," _ Jace denies, a rush of horror going through him at the thought, the words leaving his mouth without any consideration to what he’s saying.

Sebastian pulls out of him suddenly, cock dragging against his prostate and then he’s suddenly clenching down on _ nothing, _ hole fluttering as he keens at the sudden emptiness. Sebastian has pulled out of him and away and he’s not touching Jace _ at all. _

Jace chokes on more horror, bereft, body alight with fear.

_ "No," _ Jace chokes, panicking for an entirely different reason now, breath coming in pants as shame and fear join the horror sturring in his gut. "No, no, Sebastian, I didn't mean it, I'm sorry–" he babbles, voice breaking. _ No, _ he didn’t mean it, Sebastian, _ no— _

"And yet you're still saying it," Sebastian notes, out of Jace's reach as Jace twists around and reaches after Sebastian desperately. He takes another step out of range. Jace feels like he’s dying. He can’t breathe.

Jace catches the next ‘no’ before he can say it by biting down on his lip, ignoring the new well of blood it causes, panic clawing at his throat. He stays against the wall, to terrified to move, afraid that if he steps forward and chases after Sebastian, Sebastian will _ leave. _ He’s so terrified at his misstep that he’s shaking with it. He’s not sure he could keep himself up upright if he stepped away from the wall at his back.

Sebastian softens incrementally as he looks at Jace, meeting Jace’s frantic gaze. Something in Jace unwinds at his expression, terror abating slightly. Sebastian steps forward, into Jace’s reach, and the action makes the tears that had formed in his eyes well over and spill down his cheeks. Jace fists his hands in Sebastian’s shirt and clings to him, shaking and unable to stop to sob of relief in his throat.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Jace whispers over and over into Sebastian’s neck, tongue tripping over the words, leaving salt stains on Sebastian’s skin.

Sebastian tilts his face up with a hand under his chin and kisses the words out of his mouth. Jace melts into it, parting his lips and letting Sebastian lick the tang of blood from them.

“Everyone is so careful with you,” Sebastian says tenderly when he pulls back, Jace chasing after his lips but stopping when Sebastian squeezes the fingers wrapped around his chin. “So, so, _ so _ careful. They don’t understand that’s never what you’ve wanted.”

He licks the blood off Jace’s chin and the tears off his cheeks, then licks Jace’s whine out of his mouth. “Turn around,” he says. Jace obeys with clumsy movements. He’s shaking from relief now. He wishes he could get his mouth to work enough to say thank you.

Sebastian pins his hands to the wall above his head with one hand wrapped around Jace’s wrists and guides his cock back into Jace’s hole, leaving a sharp, stinging slap against Jace’s thigh that makes him moan when Jace rocks back against him. “Stay still and take it,” he orders.

Jace can’t help the high pitched whine he makes, submissive and needy. The noise elicits a groan from Sebastian and a hand wrapped around his erection, letting Sebastian squeeze Jace’s cock as his rough movements slide it in and out of his grip.

The fuck is brutal. Jace is going to feel it in his core for _ days. _ He rests his cheek against the cool concrete and lets Sebastian pin him to the wall without protest, too grateful for Sebastian forgiving him to try and act like he doesn’t want this. That staying still under Sebastian’s hands and _ taking it, _ the way he’s allowed to with Sebastian, isn’t something that makes him feel _ understood, _ really and truly, for the first time in his life.

He moans softly with each thrust, eyes closed, pleasure building with each thrust of Sebastian’s cock and twist of his fingers. The sound is thready and loud in the dead hallway.

He comes when Sebastian does, the other man stilling and hissing out a breath through his teeth as he tightens his grip on Jace’s cock and wrists brutally, grinding the bones together and making Jace cry out in pleasure, arching back against Sebastian helplessly. His cock pulses as heat spreads through his ass, his own release splattering against the wall in heavy spurts.

He never wants it to end. This one last thing to remember Sebastian by, when he goes.

He goes limp in Sebastian’s grip, completely spent, muscles jumping under Sebastian’s hands as the man gives his cock one last vicious squeeze, drawing out one last weak blurt of come and making Jace’s toes curl at the pain.

Jace stays where he is when Sebastian pulls away, bracing his forearms weakly against the wall. Sebastian fixes their clothes with efficient movements before turning Jace around roughly, slamming Jace back against the wall and slotting himself against Jace’s bruised hips to meld their mouths together again, hands resting against Jace’s neck and cupping his face.

Jace leans into Sebastian’s gentle hands and closes his eyes, drinking in the taste and feel of him, imprinting the sensations as deep inside himself as he can, wishing he could let Sebastian carve his way into Jace’s soul.

He doesn’t move when Sebastian pulls away, resigned to the fact that Sebastian is going to go and there’s nothing Jace can do to convince him otherwise and no way to let _ himself _ be convinced to leave with the man.

He meets Sebastian’s gaze steadily as the man brushes his fingers across Jace’s cheek gently, looking almost regretful, before Sebastian uses his grip on Jace’s face to slam his head back into the wall.

Everything goes black.

**Author's Note:**

> anyway, turns out malec wasn't enough to get me involved in this fandom on the writing front (ya'll have an anti problem and I'm not interested in it) but sebjace is a garbage fire and i'm here for it.
> 
> edit: fixed a minor typo. also you can find me on [tumblr](fenrirsteeth.tumblr.com) if you like.


End file.
